Finding joy in my divine potential

This month has been an eye opening experience for me and one big lesson on faith.

It is not by accident that all of the Sunday lessons in Young Women's this month have been about being a mother and finding joy in this divine responsibility. On Fast Sunday, I had the opportunity to prepare and give a lesson to all of the Young Women and the Young Women leaders of our ward. The title of the lesson was "Finding Joy in Our Divine Potential". It focused on the joys of being a woman and the special blessing that we have of being mothers. I know I get more out of preparing these lessons than the girls do but I had hoped that this lesson would be special to them. The lesson went very well, but what happened after the actual lesson was even better. I ended the lesson by giving the girls some time to stand and express their love for their mothers. I was so impressed by the meaningful comments and testimonies that were shared. I also challenged the girls to bear their testimonies in Sacrament Meeting. I openly admitted to them that I myself am not a very good example to follow because I am scared to death to stand and speak in front of people. I asked them to look past my faults and to share how they felt. Needless to say, this was very memorable Sunday for me. Almost all of the Young Women stood and bore their testimonies. They spoke of their mothers and other women that had touched their lives. They affected me so much that I actually couldn't stop myself from standing and bearing my testimony and it felt GREAT! I left church that Sunday feeling rejuvenated and ready to face the tough week ahead.

That next Wednesday was when I found out that I no longer had a job and was being laid off. This was not just a job to me; it was my career, something that I had worked so hard at for the last 15 years. I myself was surprised at my reaction. I was completely at peace with this life changing event. I knew deep down in my heart that this was truly meant to be. I was too afraid to take this leap of faith on my own. I had previously had only enough courage and faith to go part time when I had BraeLyn 3 years ago...but I could never just let go and walk away from my career.

Well now, it wasn't my choice and I couldn't be more grateful. I know it won't be easy and no, I am not suffering from "the grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. I see the yellow spots, the weeds and the dog poop etc. I'm sure there will be several blog posts after this that may contradict this one. I will have days that when ask myself, "what do you think you're doing? ", "are you sure you're making the right decision?", "are you sure you want to do this?". I'm sure I will have days that I am tempted by attractive job offers. I hope that when these days do happen, that I can ignore the yellow spots, the weeds and the dog poop and see the future of nurturing that grass. I hope to look back at this post and remind myself that I am making the right decision for our family at this point in time.

I am up to this new challenge ahead. I am looking forward to spending more meaningful time with my kids. I am looking forward to capturing those priceless moments with my camera that I got for Christmas that I really cannot afford to keep. I am looking forward to spending time in their classrooms at school. I am looking forward to the trips to the park, the library, children's museums, ad-hoc trips to the lake or snowmobiling etc, etc, etc. I look forward to staying home and snuggling in bed with my kids until we finally feel like getting up. I am looking forward to spending more time with my mom and finally learning how to sew. I am looking forward to the time that I will have to discover new hobbies. I am looking forward to finding new and fun ways to generate income from home. I am looking forward to being a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, neighbor, visiting teacher, young women leader and also a Daughter of God. I am looking forward to all of the many blessings and challenges that come from being at home with my 4 heaven sent children and my heaven sent best friend, my husband.

I am really just looking forward....